Things got a tad divisive earlier, so here’s Miley Cyrus reminding us what the season is really about: Staring at a 21-year-old’s labia while she smacks a midget’s ass. Which sounds unseemly when I say it, so here’s how Charles Dickens originally described it:
Shaving was not an easy task, for his hand continued to shake very much; and shaving requires attention, even when you don’t dance while you are at it. But if he had cut the end of his nose off, he would have put a piece of sticking-plaister over it, and been quite satisfied.
See? An entire passage about shaving a dancing vagina for the yuletide. By gum, you can practically smell the Christmas goose just reading it. Tell us more of figgy twerks, Master Dickens!
Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty
Miley Cyrus just made new plans for New Year’s Eve! She was supposed to perform and bring in the new year in Miami but now it looks like she will be twerking in NYC. Get the full scoop here and be sure to let us know if you’re bringing in the new year with Miley!Miley Cyrus just made new plans for New Year’s Eve!
She was supposed to perform and bring in the new year in Miami but now it looks like she will be twerking in NYC.
“Smilers! There’s been a change in my NYE plans. [Ryan Seacrest] asked me to perform in Times Square for #RockinEve!!,” the “Wrecking Ball” singer tweeted Wednesday night.
Ryan confirmed Miley’s New Year’s addition when he stopped by Jimmy Kimmel Live on Wednesday night.
“We just added Miley Cyrus to be in Times Square right before the ball drops,” told told Jimmy.
“We try to look for the artist that’s created a lot of buzz and had a really big year.”
Well, if that’s the case, Miley was definitely the right choice! Don’t think Miley wasn’t upset about ditching her Miami fans though. She tweeted about that too.
“I’m bummed I won’t be in Miami,” she added to her big announcement.
She also thanked her “homies” at the luxe venue “4 their support.”
New Year’s Rockin’ Eve programming will begin at 8 p.m. on December 31 on ABC. Ryan will lead the annual countdown with The View cohost Jenny McCarthy from Times Square. Fergie will host the West Coast rendition of New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with performers like Ariana Grande and The Fray.
Are you going to tune in and bring in the new year with Miley?
The 2014 Grammys promise to be the mother of all awards shows!
And surprisingly, although Beyonce and Gaga were rumored to be feuding, the ladies could agree to play nice in order to make next year’s event a powerhouse show!
“The trio are all looking to avoid cat fights and turf wars by agreeing to each perform the same amount of time–six minutes,” the insider dished.
“And they’re not planning any special duets or group performances. They plan to each have their moment to shine and steal the show. They’re going to get that chance and music fans are sure to be thrilled!”
The National Enquirer reported that although Beyonce and Gaga teamed up on the hit “Telephone,” things have been frosty between them because Mrs. Carter thinks the other pop star’s outfits are too over the top.
The magazine said Gaga then dismissed Beyonce as a “hater.”
The source said the singers haven’t been on speaking terms since their collaboration on Gaga’s last record, but they’re setting personal feelings aside for the big Grammy show, which will air on January 26, 2014.
Meanwhile, a fourth diva, Miley Cyrus, who has made major noise with her wild performances this year, is holding back on performing at the Grammys for now, we’ve learned.
“Her album Bangerz isn’t the kind that gets a lot of nominations, so she’s planning accordingly,” the source explained.